Good editors help their clients to write clearly. At least they try to. Unfortunately, some clients dislike the simple, declarative sentence. This can be especially true with business executives who want to brag about how wonderful their companies are. They’ve been tricked into thinking that dense, convoluted sentences convey a kind of corporate gravitas. Or worse, they want to disguise the fact that they don’t have much worth saying.
What can you do when the client demands gibberish? You might find some inspiration in Drew Davidson’s Corporate Gibberish Generator. Just plug in a company name, click the “Generate” button, and then sit back and let the meaningless sentences flow.
I plugged in the name Balderdash Ltd. and instantly discovered that “Balderdash Ltd. is the industry leader of web-enabled customized implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.” And so on for 1,000 words.
The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies, Davidson says, but one of the great things about gibberish is that it can be modified easily to serve a wide spectrum of uses.
Besides, if you don’t like what you got on the first try, just reload the page for a fresh batch. For a recursive exercise, I plugged in the generator’s own name. The results summed up the site better thusly: “The Corporate Gibberish Generator has revolutionized the conceptualization of paradigms. Think customer-defined. Think world-class. Think cutting-edge. But don’t think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.”
I couldn’t have said it more gibberishly. And thanks to Drew Davidson, I don’t have to.